Huffing Paint

28 Oct

When the landlord asked my roommates and I if we would be willing to paint for a rent credit, my only question was if she would provide the supplies. Sure I’ll paint, it’s not bad. My roommate and I painted her room in 2 hours one day.  I didn’t do the math.  Two people for 2 hours=4 total work hours. Yikes. And we didn’t use painter’s tape, it was more gonzo style.  The landlord requested that we tape up the wood trim and she provided the paint tape, so why not?  Took fucking forever.  I  didn’t realize how tedious and time consuming it would be to paint.

Who the hell paints walls these colors?!

2 (??!!) Hideous Shades of Brown

The bad: my perfectionist nature (a well kept secret of mine), I want it to look perfect. The good: my obsessive nature to finish a project once started.  Or reversed?  The good: my perfectionist nature?  The bad: my obsessive nature? One of my obsessive-perfectionisms was that the tape had to be lined perfectly so that none of the wood be exposed.  Why it even mattered I don’t know since once I started painting I was dripping paint all over the hardwood floors.

Do’s & Don’ts of Painting Learned the Hard Way

  1. Don’t worry about the paint tape being perfect.
  2. Do wear oversized sunglasses as protective eyewear, paint will get in your eyes.
  3. Don’t wear your cashmere sweater or you will freak out when you get paint on it because YOU WILL get paint on it.
  4. Do get stoned and listen to the Johnny Cash or the Bob Marley station on Pandora.
  5. Don’t get stoned and eat half a block of cheese or half a can of salt & vinegar almonds. Certainly DO NOT eat both half a block of cheese AND half a can of salt & vinegar almonds.
  6. Do request quality paint from the landlord.
  7. Don’t think primer and one coat of white paint is going to cover up bile brown and grotesque green.
  8. Do be grateful there isn’t candy in the house.
  9. Don’t take a break and get on the internet, will you get caught in a time suck .

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