Tag Archives: war on women

on chris brown. and why those tweets make me want to cry.

17 Feb

Chris Brown has been all up in my newsfeed lately. Thankfully, it’s mainly been about this article from HelloGiggles:

I’m not okay with Chris Brown performing at the Grammy’s and I’m not sure why you are

the article goes through the events of what happened between Brown and Rihanna, the public’s reaction, his “punishment”, and really, why its NOT OKAY TO HIT ANYONE.

So, by letting Brown perform at the Grammy’s are they saying, “Hey Chris Brown, we know what you did and we don’t think women are  important enough to make a stand and say your actions are unacceptable”?

Apparently Brown performed and won an award. And then this happened:

25 extremely upsetting reactions to Chris Brown at the Grammys

Buzzfeed , a website that posts all internet things, compiled a list of 25 tweets by women about Chris Brown.

All of the tweets said something along the lines of how they would let Chris Brown beat them.

So, other than being upsetting why does this make me want to cry?

1. these women talk about the violence as if they have control over the situation in that moment. Like there is a moment of passing. “why, yes, even though you are in a fit of rage, I can let you beat me!” In a moment of violence there is no passing/letting. That person wants control and power and they are willing to go as far as violence to show that.

2. i get the feeling that there is some underlying sexual weirdness in these tweets. as if these women are equating “the beating” to sex.

3. the detailed police report of what Chris Brown did to Rihanna. just reading this makes me want to cry.

4. we don’t think that violence against women is even a problem. or real.

I’m currently taking a women and media class and our last session was completely taken up by people saying this and that about Rihanna. It amazed me to hear how many people thought it was her fault and how she provoked him. People were also really angry that Rihanna is making songs about S&M (which is completely based on consent btw) and making money off her abuse. WTF. Because we think of Rihanna as a victim she should always be a victim, right? Rihanna is doing what she’s doing to get past those events in her life. Get over it.

So bottom line:

It is never. i repeat, never. okay to hit anyone. no matter what they do. just don’t do it. and we, as a society, have to say over and over again that it’s NOT OKAY to hit anyone. even if that means taking away all of Chris Brown’s celebrity endorsements and not letting him perform at the Grammys.

it's never okay to hit anyone.

Thank You Susan G. Komen Foundation

16 Feb

 I would like to give thanks to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.  I’m sure you’re thinking it’s for deciding to continue to grant money to Planned Parenthood for breast exams.  Nope.  Their “little stunt” actually benefited Planned Parenthood because the donations poured in.  Sorry your plan backfired.  Actually it kind of exploded in your face.  Seems there are people who think Planned Parenthood is pretty awesome.  Maybe other organizations and pro-lifers will remember that the next time they want to take on the “pro-abortion” Planned Parenthood.

V-Day & My Short Skirt

14 Feb

When we say V-Day we aren’t talking about Valentine’s Day.  V-Day is a global activist movement to end violence against women and girls. V-Day is a catalyst that promotes creative events to increase awareness, raise money, and revitalize the spirit of existing anti-violence organizations.   It was started by Eve Ensler who created The Vagina Monologues a play that talks about females experiences with their vaginas.  The stories are both happy and sad.  I’ve performed in the show and it was such a wonderful experience.  I was unable to perform my favorite monologue My Short Skirt because not all monologues are available, they rotate.  *Funny Side Note-I just turned to my friend and asked ” You know My Short Skirt?” and she replied “Which one?  You have many.” I busted out laughing.* The reason why this is my favorite monologue is because it’s the one I identify with most because I do wear a lot of short skirts.  And I do it for me not for anyone else.  I’m short and they are comfortable, less restricting than pants.  The only thing that ever makes me feel uncomfortable in short skirts is creepers.

                                                                                                          My Short Skirt

My short skirt is not an invitation
a provocation 

an indication 
that I want it 
or give it 
or that I hook. 
  
My short skirt 
is not begging for it 
it does not want you 
to rip it off me 
or pull it down. 
  
My short skirt 
is not a legal reason 
for raping me 
although it has been before 
it will not hold up 
in the new court. 
  
My short skirt, believe it or not 
has nothing to do with you. 
  
My short skirt 
is about discovering 
the power of my lower calves 
about cool autumn air traveling 
up my inner thighs 
about allowing everything I see 
or pass or feel to live inside. 
  
My short skirt is not proof 
that I am stupid 
or undecided 
or a malleable little girl. 
  
My short skirt is my defiance 
I will not let you make me afraid 
My short skirt is not showing off 
this is who I am 
before you made me cover it 
or tone it down. 
Get used to it. 
  
My short skirt is happiness 
I can feel myself on the ground. 
I am here. I am hot. 
  
My short skirt is a liberation 
flag in the women’s army 
I declare these streets, any streets 
my vagina’s country. 
  
My short skirt 
is turquoise water 
with swimming colored fish 
a summer festival 
in the starry dark 
a bird calling 
a train arriving in a foreign town 
my short skirt is a wild spin 
a full breath 
a tango dip 
my short skirt is 
initiation 
appreciation 
excitation. 
  
But mainly my short skirt 
and everything under it 
is Mine. 
Mine. 
Mine. 

Winter Weight

8 Feb

Image

Or the time of year I turn into a fattie.  Does this happen to others?  It has to.  It happens to me every year and I always freak out.  I know it’s gonna happen, I should be expecting it, preparing myself for it, but instead it somehow evades my mind.  When I do start to realize something is going on-my thighs are starting to look wider?-it’s already too late, the fattening phase has begun.  I know I’m crazy, this is all crazy, but this is what I think and thankfully it’s a phase.  People may ask how I can call myself a feminist and a fattie.  I’m not being serious when I use the term fattie-I know I’m being ridiculous and it’s a ridiculous made up word.

I gain about 5 pounds every winter.  I know I need this weight for the winter, it’s a survival mechanism I need to stay warm.  This is how I logically justify the weight gain and it’s the truth.  And I’m prepared for it.  Which is kinda also the reason why I don’t realize it until it has happened.  It’s because all my clothes still fit.  Most of my clothes are stretchy or a little loose on me.  Some things look better after the weight gain, they are more filled out.  Still I always have a hard time with it in the beginning of the phase.

I don’t own a scale.  I don’t think its healthy to own a scale.  At Planned Parenthood there are scales in all the patient rooms.  You can weigh yourself every day.  I started using the scales and I told my friend at work that I felt like I was developing a problem.  I’ll reserve the scale for when I go to the doctor.

This year though I gained ten pounds!  I know, omg!!!  Ok, it’s really not that serious because in reality I weight the same right now that I did exactly a year ago.  I’ll explain.  So, this summer I rode my bike a lot.  Everywhere. Even to far away places like Uptown and Skokie.  All that bike riding resulted in a little weight loss.  And the funny thing is I didn’t even notice I had lost weight.  It wasn’t a big issue to me like gaining weight.

I don’t think the freak out is about me thinking I’m becoming a “fattie”.  The freak out is because there is a change happening.  A change in what I’m accustomed to.  And it’s happening to me, directly affecting me.  I don’t fight the weight gain though because like I wrote above it’s what my body does naturally to prepare me.  It’s instincts and we all now we shouldn’t go against our instincts.  That’s what leads to misery.

And the funny thing is right before the weight gain I was wondering if I was too skinny.

Am I the only one who thinks in this crazy way?

Football Is For Boys

5 Feb

In case you didn’t know/couldn’t tell from the football beanie, this is a newborn baby boy. Congrats to my sis Emmy.  No one would put this football beanie on a little girl.  Girl’s don’t play football.  You know what girls do?  Girls cheer.  Oh yes, even I once did a cheerleading stint.

I was the Daria of cheerleaders.  Just ask my friends, they think it was hilarious, I think it was a learning/growth experiment gone very wrong.  I did it for this reason

If I had spent more time considering my decision I would have realized: I don’t like football, I don’t like people looking at me, I don’t like people staring at my short skirts, and I don’t like the cold.  I much prefer to attend football games for the socialization aspect.  It is the place to go to see and be seen.  Or to eat bad food, all fried.  Drink some spiked lemonade with it and hope that you don’t step on a child with your heels as you try to navigate the bleachers.

Football is a beloved sport that only men can really participate in.  I prefer to look at the pleasant side of things and I do want to give thanks to whomever decided to add a half time show to the Super Bowl.  The half time show is entertainment to me, not football.  Even if its bad it’s still good.

Madonna, M.I.A, and Nicki Minaj all creatively sing out against sexism in their own style.  Also, looooove, loooove M.I.A’s white lace dress.

Hysteria = Uterus

30 Jan

I just read an article in the NY Times, in the opinion section, “Hysteria and the Teenage Girl” by Caitlin Flanagan. The article is a response to a kooky Onion article about a group of cheerleaders from NY who “developed” Tourette’s; it began with one and then the rest “caught’ it. After some research, Flanagan found that what they actually had “caught” was hysteria. Interestingly, Flanagan found that this happens often. Teenage girls experience hysteria due to puberty, in most cases, or stress. She cites several cases of girls suddenly developing outrageous symptoms as early as 1962.

While this is a curious occurrence, I am surprised at the lack of critique this article provides regarding the long history of using hysteria to undermine women and their desires. The story “The Yellow Wallpaper” (Charlotte Perkins Gilman, 1892) grapples with mental illness and sexism. It is an example of how women can be discarded because of this kind of affliction. There is no commentary on how the girls community responded.

As a I understand it hysteria has been attributed to women only, although it happens to men as well –the article mentions a boy also developed the same symptoms–it is after all the Greek word for uterus. Therefore, hysteria means women are crazy or always have the potential to be crazy especially if they have a uterus. And if they do become hysterical then they are dismissible.

This diagnosis is a way to dismiss women, period. And this author could have had an opinion about that.

“The A word”

17 Jan

The Chicago Abortion Fund is hosting their annual Roe vs. Wade rally at the Thompson Center this Friday January 20th from 12-1pm!

Dress warm and come get your shouts on!

About Chicago Abortion Fund

Chicago Abortion Fund (CAF) fights to overturn economic barriers to reproductive choice. Through direct service and education/advocacy, CAF assists low-income women in obtaining safe abortion services by providing clinic referrals, negotiated discounts and financial assistance. While we are unable to directly assist all the women in need, we work to extend choice to all low-income women by making the issue of economic access a priority on the agenda of policy makers.

If you are in Chicago and would like to watch our show “The A Word” live, tune in at 8pm on the last Wednesday of every month, public access CAN-TV 21.

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/chicagoabortionfund

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chicago-Abortion-Fund/133928452953

Blog: http://www.chicagoabortionfund.blogspot.com/

Dear Cosmo Magazine,

10 Dec

What would I do without you?!  You are a true lifesaver!  What would my life be like if you didn’t tell me every month what I must do to keep my man happy, how to wear my make up & clothes, and how to be skinny?  I absolutely love your beauty tutorials.  I tape my favorite looks to my mirror so I can easily copy them.  I then go to the mall and buy all the products required to copy that look.  $200 later and Hello Gorgeous.  While I’m at the mall I of course have to get new clothes.  $200 on make up is nothing!  I just bought a pair of jeans for $200 and then a pair of heels for $600.  I think I just spent a whole paycheck in one afternoon, but what better way to spend my time and money than shopping?!?!  I’m going to look so fucking hot!  Your diet and exercise tips are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.  I would be lost without them.  I get up 2 hours early so I can do my exercises, eat my breakfast of an egg white omelet & piece of fruit, and then of course do my hair & make up.  Your dating advice is phenomenal.  During my day at work I always remember to send my boyfriend sexy text messages.  All I can think about is how I’m going to blow his mind later in bed.  Of course I know how to make sure I get mine too, but it’s ok if I don’t.  Making him happy makes me happy.  Also, thanks for the Need to Know Crime Story every month.  It’s great to be reminded that I need to watch out for myself so I’m not raped, kidnapped or killed.  Your advice is so empowering.  At the end of the day I’m exhausted and broke, but soooo happy.

               Thanks again Cosmo!  Love ya! Bye!

P.S. I know it may be blasphemy, but Cosmo You Are My Bible!

Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels-THINSPO

25 Nov

The above quote can be attributed to the very slender model Kate Moss.  Since it’s the day after Thanksgiving we all need a little thinspiration after over indulging.  Thinspo is “motivation” to remain thin or attain thinness.  It often features pictures of extremely thin females mixed in with quotes so you can achieve your goal.  If anorexia or an eating disorder is on your to do list then I highly recommend watching thinspo videos.  If it is not, then I must warn you that some of the pics are disturbing because the women are literally skeletons.

You’ll have lovely collarbones.

Bones are beautiful.

*This is a touchy subject because there are women who are naturally thin and they shouldn’t be persecuted for that. Be aware of what is a natural, healthy size for you and let that be your goal.  Do not focus on thinness instead let healthiness be your goal.  If you are worried you may be developing an eating disorder please refer to this site.

swoon. feminist ryan gosling anyone?

8 Nov

happy tuesday!

so you might have seen the overnight sensation tumblr feminist Ryan Gosling. if not, go check it out. it is a little gem of feminism quotes and ryan gosling.

the blog is comprised of “flashcards” of Ryan Gosling and some feminist theory thrown in. i can see how the blog might be excluding those who have not taken feminist theory and there are also some really great flashcards that you can understand without having taken feminist theory 101. like this one:

the flashcards could be improved if it were an array of men and women of shapes, colors and sexual identities (then it wouldn’t be an internet sensation i guess) and didn’t rely so much on feminist stereotypes (my idea of a good night is not watching buffy or cuddling). this is a start and feminists can have a sense of humor right? These are a couple of my favorites:

If you’re really into Ryan Gosling and a typography nerd my sister just stumbled upon this one: Typographer Ryan Gosling

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